Josh Beckett is Wicked Smaht

So the talk of the town around here (even bigger than the Elliot #9 Spitzer prostitution story and Mumbles Menino being the 109th highest paid City of Boston employee) is that Josh Beckett has a crippling back injury that may force him into a wheelchair for the rest of his life. In fact, Beckett may only live another month or two because of this rare, newfound terminal condition.

Actually, that's not quite true but based on the coverage of Beckett's 'injury,' you'd think the guy was some kind of number one ace for the defending World Series Champions. Oh, yeah, he is the number one ace for the defending World Series Champions!

I have to admit that I'm not quite sure what's going on here. Is Beckett really injured? He may very well be but I'm not buying it. I just think he's way smahtah than everyone else and has found a way out of going to the season opening series in Japan. And who can blame him? Beckett is the backbone of this team right now and is by far the best pitcher that they have. Do you honestly think that Beckett wants to get on a plane and sit for close to 20 hours straight, pitch against the Oakland A's in Japan and then make the return 20 hour flight home? I'm guessing no.

And he's gotta be looking at Daisuke Matsuzaka and thinking that he got his wife pregnant just so he wouldn't have to go home to Japan so there really must not be much to see there. I've go to believe that Beckett's just looking for a way out of this series and I'm fine with it. Heck, he could have just come out and said that he thinks this is a stupid idea and doesn't want to do it and I would have been totally cool with that, too. Heck, they could have given him an incentive clause in his contract for not going and I would still think he's the best pitcher in the American League.

I wouldn't even be surprised if at some point down the road we find out that Theo Epstein and Terry Francona are behind this 'injury' business. Somehow, they're already setting up their pitching staff so that Beckett can dominate the Billy Crystal and the Yankees the first time we play them this year.

Look, Coco Crap has tried this stunt all spring training by coming up with one ailment after another and no one's been fooled by his injuries. And besides, Coco's gotta go so he can be the stewardess on the plane- there's no other explanation why Coco's still on this team. I wonder if they've told Coco that they only got him a one way ticket.

I think the only thing that's surprising about this 'injury' is that Manny Being Manny didn't think of it first, although I have to believe that Manny probably thinks Japan is the 51st State of the Union.