Pats-Chiefs Preview

Now that the preseason is out of the way, the Patriots can get down to business. And just like the Patriots, I'll get right down to business with this preview: I don't care that the Patriots went 0-4 this preseason, which is exactly how I would feel if they were to go 4-0 in the preseason. It means nothing, especially when you have people like Matt Cassel taking snaps as the starting quarterback. Cassel is on this team for one reason and one reason only: he's really good at holding a clip board.

The Patriots' opponent will be none other than the Kansas City Chiefs, who were just awful last year. They ended up 4-12 and finished the year on a nine game losing streak. But the real story is that Herm Edwards is, unbelievably, still their coach and that's never a good thing. When the Chiefs come to town with Edwards as their head coach, they should automatically be disqualified. He reminds me of the dead guy in Weekend at Bernie's with the way he handles game adjustments and play calling. No team with him as the head coach is coming here to beat the (almost) defending Super Bowl Champions. Have I told you I hate the New York Giants? In fact, I hate the San Francisco Giants, too, just because they're also Giants. If my daughter's soccer team is called the Giants this year, I'm holding a protest until it's changed and the shirts are incinerated.

From what I can tell, the Patriots will start the year off by unveling the Perfect Season 19-0 banner at Gillette Stadium on Sunday. Oops, I think it's actually a 16-0 banner but what's the difference, right? Can we watch the tape again and see if they really lost the Super Bowl. Actually, no, I don't think I want to watch the tape again. By the way, unless you're hanging Super Bowl banners, I don't want to hear about 16-0 banners. That's just lame.

Anyway, when the offense for the Patriots steps onto the field on Sunday, number 12 will be there. I don't care what people are saying about Tom Brady's foot/ankle injury. In fact, I have a hard time believing that he's even injured. Somehow, I think Brady's "injury" was Bill Belicheat's sneaky way of getting the Chiefs to feel like they had a chance in this game, which they don't. Let's remember that this is the same Brady who has been listed on the injury report with a shoulder injury for the last four years and yet, has never missed a game or received any treatment for that "injury" either.

The Patriots opened as 14 point favorites in Vegas when it was still questionable if Brady would start. That line has gone up to 16 1/2. Even Vegas doesn't believe Brady is injured.

As for Brady, this reminds me of last season when everone was so concerned about Randy Moss because he missed all of the preseason. Yeah, how'd that work out for him? How about having 98 catches for 1,493 yards and a record setting 23 touchdowns. Not bad for a guy who didn't play in the preseason.

So I don't expect the "injury" to Brady to be a concern going forward. Besides, everyone knows that the only thing that can harm Superman is kryponite and I'm pretty sure there's not much of that stuff around anymore. But the thought does bring up an interesting point. What if Brady does go down with a real injury at some point during the season? I think we could say hello to the 2008 Miami Dolphins, holders of the 1-15 record. For a coach who prepares as much as Belichick does and who is always looking for an edge in every possible category (even if it means cheating), it seems kind of scary that our backup quarterback is Matt Cassel. As for Brady, I have a feeling that he's been practicing his deep routes with Gisele all offseason so I can see him easily going 23-30, 275 yards, 3 touchdowns and that's before he even sets foot on the field.

I do have my concerns on the defensive side for the Patriots, though. Rodney HGHarrison is back again, as is Tedy Bruschi. I thought maybe the Patriots would cut ties with both of them at the end of last year so let's hope they each have another year in the tank. If not, it will still be fun watching HGHarrison trying to get away with late hits. But my real concern on the defensive side is Richard Seymour, who seems to have fallen off the face of the earth in the last year. Either he's hurt or he completely sucks because he's been a nonfactor for too long.

As for the offense, it appears that Belichick is going for the seven man backfield by brining in every available running back. I think the stacked backfield will be good because at some point Laurence Maroney's going to get hurt running into one of his own guys and we need a Lamont Jordan to step in and show him how to be a power back. I think we can expect lots of screen passes out of this offense to help take the pressure off of Moss and Brady and let's not forget about their three tight ends that will start the season on the roster.

While this weekend represents the kickoff of another NFL season, let's not forget that it also represents Bob Kraft returning to show us his unlimited collection of blue shirts with white collars. And if that doesn't get you fired up for football season than nothinig will.

Final score: Patriots 38-10.







And in honor of Herm Edwards, here's one of the oddest conversations I've ever seen. Can you ever imagine Belicheat saying anything like this?