Week 3 NFL Picks With Pats-Dolphins Preview

Well, work has completely gotten in the way of my blogging this week so I'm combining my picks and my Patriots-Dolphins squish the fish preview into one column. Actually, it works out better this way since there really isn't much to say about the Patriots-Dolphins game. All you need to know is that Joey Porter opened his big mouth and trash talked Matt Cassel and the Patriots. And in case you forgot, that didn't work out too good for the last person who ripped the Pats.

Anyway, here are this week's picks. Winning team is in CAPS. I'm too lazy to go back and figure out my record for last week or year-to-date but maybe I'll have more time to showcase my stellar math skills next week.

Sunday, September 21
Kansas City at ATLANTA
Kansas City absolutely stinks right now, as evidenced by them losing their home opener last week to the Oakland Raiders. How long before Herm Edwards is fired?

Oakland at BUFFALO
I like Buffalo a lot this year, especially after a tough road win last week in Jacksonville.

Tampa Bay at CHICAGO
Chicago has looked pretty good in the early part of the season, even though they dropped a tough game last week in Carolina.

HOUSTON at Tennessee
Can we give the Tennessee Titans to the CFL?

Carolina at MINNESOTA
I don't understand why everyone is so concerned that Gus Frerotte was named the starting quarterback for the Vikings. Tavaris Jackson was terrible in that role and deserved to get benched, even if Frerotte is the backup. Did I really pick Minnesota?

Miami at NEW ENGLAND
There are two things that you need to know about this game:
Point 1. Miami Dolphins outside linebacker Joey Porter said the following about Matt Cassel: "He's not a Tom Brady. So if it's not Tom Brady, it shouldn't be that hard. It'll be good to go out there and get our first victory. You treat him like you treat a backup. You throw the kitchen sink at him. That's what we're going to do."

If people have learned anything about the Patriots in the last decade, it's that they use the slightest negative thing said about them to absolutely destroy you. Again, see Anthony Smith from last year. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Bill Belichick is devising plays designed to embarass Porter, which is exactly what the Patriots did with Smith in the Pittsburgh game last year.

Did anyone even remember that Joey Porter was still playing? I thought he retired when he left Pittsburgh a few years ago.

Point 2: The Patriots have won 21 straight regular-season games while the Dolphins have lost 20 of their past 21 games. Does anyone even remember when the last time the Dolphins were in the playoffs? And just in case you're wondering, the Patriots smacked around the Dolphins by a combined score of 77-35 last year. So I'm not sure how anyone could possibly think that the Dolphins are in any type of position to win this game, with or without Tom Brady.

Point 3: I know, I said there were only two points to the Patriots winning this game but I lied. Chad Pennington is the quarterback of the Miami Dolphins. Maybe this should have been point number one but having Pennington as the opposing quarterback is like a secret weapon for the Patriots because you know he'll do something stupid at some point in the game, like throw three interceptions.

The Patriots and Matt Cassel roll to a 31-10 victory and I have no clue how the Dolphins can possibly score 10 points in this game.

CINCINNATI at NY Giants
I have no clue how a worthless team like Cincinnati is going to come in and knock off the Giants. It may be worth noting that Cincinnati has only scored 17 points in two games. And yes, I'm still picking them or rather, picking agains the Giants.

ARIZONA at Washington
I guess I'll ride the Kurt Warner band wagon until it comes crashing to a halt.

Detroit at SAN FRANCISCO
Do I really have to pick a winner here? When in doubt, pick against the Lions.

St. Louis at SEATTLE
Seattle is so bad right now that I actually think this might be a close game.

New Orleans at DENVER
I actually like Denver really big in this game.

Pittsburgh at PHILADELPHIA
The Eagles played a heck of a game on Monday night and Donovan McNabb looks like he's finally healthy.

JACKSONVILLE at Indianapolis
It's hard to believe that both of these teams could be 1-2 if Jacksonville wins.

Cleveland at BALTIMORE
Baltimore has had a smothering defense the first two games of the year, allowing only ten points total.

Dallas at GREEN BAY
Two of the higher scoring offenses in the league meet in this matchup. This should be the first of many good games between Tony Romo and Aaron Rodgers. And yes, I realize that I may have been mistaken about my prediction of Rodgers not being very good.

Monday, September 22
NY Jets at SAN DIEGO
Two of my least favorite teams in all of sports meet up for Monday Night Football. After losing to the Patriots last week, I would be shocked if anyone actually thinks the Jets have a chance in this game.