Squish the Fish Preview

Up next for the undefeated Patriots are the one-win Dolphins. I'm not quite sure what happened to the Dolphins last week against the Ravens. It appears that they won the game and celebrated like it was the Super Bowl. Don't be fooled. Everyone knows that the Dolphins suck. Bill Belicheat would never let his team act like that for winning a meaningless regular season game. A coach has to coach his players to act like they've been there before. And by act like you've been there before, I don't mean act like you've just won the Super Bowl in 1972.

Following the Dolphins' first win of the season last week, Cam Cameron, who is supposedly the head coach, received a game ball while his players dumped a bucket full of ice water on him. Aren't ice showers reserved for winning a playoff game or the Super Bowl? That stuff doesn't happen just because you won a game. Has anyone noticed that they still have 13 losses? The Dolphins were mathematically eliminated from playoff contention after only eight games this year. That's nearly impossible to do and I think it starts and ends with the head coach.

A lot has been made about the Patriots being 14-0 and the famous Miami team that went 17-0 in 1972. The Patriots are now the only other NFL team in history to start the year 14-0. Here's a look at some interesting tidbits from the 1972 Dolphins:

The 1972 Dolphins schedule was comparatively easy when put next to the 2007 Patriots schedule. Miami didn't play a team with more than eight wins the entire season, having beaten only the 8-6 Giants and the 8-6 Chiefs. Oddly enough, Miami faced none of the other seven playoff teams during the regular season and then narrowly won their three playoff games by a combined 17 points. I've said before that good teams find a way to win so the margin of victory isn't really a fair argument, even in my biased opinion. But it is worth noting that the Patriots are 4-0 against other division leaders, having beaten Dallas, Indianapolis, Pittsburgh and San Diego, winning each game by an average of 15 points. Not 15 combined points but by an average of 15 points. Those four teams alone are a combined 42-14. Did I mention that they beat those teams by an average of 15 points? Well, they have.

For what it's worth, the 1972 Dolphins were still a very good team, regardless of their opponents. And like Jimmy Williams used to say, "We don't make the schedule we just play it." It turns out that the 1972 Dolphins were the last team to lead the NFL in points, points allowed, total yards and total yards allowed so they had something good going for them.

So why do I make note of the 1972 Dolphins? Probably because I feel like that 1972 Dolphins team has a better chance of beating the Patriots on Sunday than the current team, even if those guys are now all retired and living off of past glory.

The current Dolphins team is just awful. Their quarterback situation hasn't been stable since Dan Marino retired. They started with Trent Green, who appears to have suffered a career ending concussion earlier in the season. Then they tried Cleo Lemon before settling on John Beck for a few games before finding out that he's pretty terrible. Now they're back to Lemon. Sorry, but no QB with the first name of Cleo is going to beat the Patriots. Not to mention that he has less than a 70 QB rating, has thrown only 4 TDs to 6 INTs and has been sacked 17 times in the seven games he has started. I tried to find a silver lining in his stats but they're just not that good no matter how you look at them.

And I'm not sure what to think of Bill Parcells taking the GM job with the Dolphins earlier this week. It appears that he shafted the Atlanta Falcons to take the Doplhins job. If I were Buffalo, I'd start getting a little nervous because they're the only team in the AFC East that he hasn't worked for yet. That might change soon because, even though he signed on for four years, we all know that he never stays committed. Just ask the Giants, Jets, Patriots, Cowboys and any of his ex-wives. I also didn't think that Tuna and Dolphins mixed well together so I can't see this ending well. Will Parcells help? Certainly, he will because he's incredibly smart but the team is a mess so I think it will be a few more years before they're very competitive, unless they can land a decent QB in the upcoming draft.

If for no other reason, I want the Patriots to demolish the Dolphins because I can't stand Don Shula anymore. Yeah, he was a great coach. . . about 25 years ago. Now he's reduced to rooting against any undefeated team so that his 1972 Dolphins team will be remembered forever. He was so unbearable during the Baltimore-Patriots Monday night game a few weeks ago that I had to turn the volume down to stop myself from going insane. Look, records are meant to be broken. It doesn't take anything away from your accomplishment as the coach of an undefeated Super Bowl champion. It just means that you have a little company at the top so get over it.

As for Sunday's game, the Patriots defense played a great game against the Jets last week and it appears that they're rounding into playoff shape. Yeah, they've had a rough stretch of games between Philadelphia, Baltimore, Pittsburgh and New York the last few weeks but they've won them all and the defense has stepped up when they've needed to. Look for it again this week, especially during the last regular season home game of the year.

The only thing that's really confusing me about this game is why it was moved to a 4 pm start time? I think that the league is trying to mess around with the Patriots hoping that some of their players will get the game time wrong and not show up but it apparently hasn't worked. Although, that could explain why Rodney HGHarrison is always late on his coverage. I can just picture him coming in three hours late to make a big tackle in the end zone and then celebrating like he just won the Super Bowl as Ellis Hobbs dumps ice water on him.

It looks like it's going to be another messy game in Foxboro this weekend, with wind and rain coming in for most of the day. I am slightly concerned at the prospect of relying on Laurence Marony for another game so we'll have to see how he responds. And even in bad weather, I'd still like to see the Patriots air it out. As a side note, 21 Patriots players have scored touchdowns this season. Three teams, Kansas City, San Francisco and Atlanta, don't have 21 total touchdowns. That stat is pretty awesome.

So with another rain soaked game coming our way, I'm forced to go with a conservative score of 31-10, Patriots. As if I needed to tell you that I'm going with the Pats or that I think the Dolphins could ever score 31 points. If this game were being played in Miami, I'd go with something along the lines of 52-13 but there's nothing you can do about the way that the schedule is made.

And just like Junior Seau in last week's game, I may wear a t-shirt on Sunday, as I watch the game from the warm confines of my home.