Week 4 NFL Picks

In all my time picking NFL games, I don't think I've ever seen a more boring schedule than this week. There's really not many interesting or intriguing games out there this week, unless you think that Cleveland and Cincinnati will be a fun game to watch. I think we're set to see a lot of blowout games, such as Denver and Buffalo.

As you know by now, winning team is in CAPS.

Sunday, September 28
Cleveland at CINCINNATI
This is the battle of winless teams and I don't even think this one will be close because Cleveland is in such disarray with their quarterback situation. Losing coach gets fired.

Minnesota at TENNESSEE
All of a sudden, Tennessee looks like a tough team. Their defense is playing great and without Vince Young, their offense is gettig the job done.

DENVER at Kansas City
I think that Denver might hit 50 in this one. How much longer can Herm Edwards survive?

SAN FRANCISCO at New Orleans
San Francisco is going to build some momentum going into next week's Patriots game and everyone is going to say how good they are. Then they'll play the Patriots and everyone will realize that the niners still stink.

ARIZONA at NY Jets
The Jets don't look like they could beat a Pop Warner team right now. When does Eric Mangini's job start to be on the line here?

Green Bay at TAMPA BAY
Tampa Bay's defense has been solid all year and I don't think that's going to change against the Green Bay offense.

Atlanta at CAROLINA
The offensive line for Atlanta better play well or Matt Ryan's NFL career might be short.

HOUSTON at Jacksonville
I'm not sure why I'm picking Houston here but I think that Jacksonville is in for a let down after last week's win at Indy.

San Diego at OAKLAND
This should tell you what I think about the Chargers- I'm picking Oakland to beat them! Am I insane?

BUFFALO at St. Louis
Jim Kelly comes out of retirement to run out the clock after the Bills put up 35 first half points against a helpless Rams team. Did the Rams really bench their $60 million quarterback?

WASHINGTON at Dallas
I think I heard that Jessica Simpson is going to be at this game so that's an automatic L for Tony Romo and his Cowgirls.

Philadelphia at CHICAGO
Looks like the Eagles are rounding into midseason form with a littany of injuries to key players.

Monday, September 29
BALTIMORE at Pittsburgh
Big Ben might be in Big Trouble in this game if his offensive line doesn't step up and protect him.

Red Sox To Defend Their Title

While I've been busy disecting the Patriots and the NFL the last few weeks, the Boston Red Sox have sneakily crept back into the playoffs and will most likely be the wild card team. And last I remembered, that worked out pretty good for them in 2004. It also means another first round series with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and Orange County, California. And as we all know, the Red Sox own the Angels in the playoffs. I think they've won something like 73 straight playoff games against the Angels.

But here's the funny thing about this year's team: I don't even think they're that good. Maybe I'm just spoiled by undefeated seasons, victory parades and the home town team running up the score, but this year's version of the Red Sox is vastly different than in year's past. Here's a breakdown of their season to date:

• Curt Shilling goes down for the year in spring training.

• The Red Sox start the year in Japan (doesn't that seem like six years ago?) where they have seven different opening ceremonies in five nights. They then fly to Oakland for their opening ceremony and complete the trifecta by being the opposing team in Toronto's home opener. All of this in a span of ten days. I'm tired just thinking about it.

• David Ortiz is out for a month with a writst injury and still hasn't looked the same since coming back. His wrist still clicks when he swings. I'm no medical genius but I'm guessing that's not a good thing.

• JD Drew looks like JD Drew (he may have been the All Star MVP but I still think he sucks) and just returned after missing two months with a mysterous back injury that required an epidural. I guess I shouldn't make fun of him if he just had a baby. He returned to action two nights ago to play a whopping three innings before his back tightened up again and had to be removed.

• Mike Lowell misses a month of action and is playing with a torn labrum in his hip. That sounds like fun, huh?

• Jason Varitek grows old before our eyes and can't hit a fastball or a curveball or a changeup or a meat ball. There are also rumors flying around that he's romantically involved with NESN's Heidi Whatney.

• Julio Lugo went down with an injury (thank goodness) and is currently on the 60 day DL. Jed Lowrie fills in for him and steals his job.

• Josh Beckett has numbness and tingling in his pitching arm, scares half of New England to death by going to see Dr. James Andrews to have a dye test in his elbow, and misses a month.

• Daisuke Matsuzaka throws 100 pitches and can only get out of the fifth inning in nearly every start on his way to his current record of 18-2 even though he's walked 852 batters this year. I don't even bother turning on the games when he's pitching because I know I won't see the end of it.

• Manny Being Manny goes to another level this year and he's finally traded to the Dodgers, where there's talk of him being the NL MVP for only two months of play. He even nicknames himself Mannywood. I still prefer to call him fruitcake. I would take Jason Bay any day of the week and twice on Sunday over Manny by the way.

• Tim Wakefield has missed more than a month of action with various ailments throughout the year and is looking more and more like a 42 year old pitcher.

• Clay Bucholz can't get major leaguers out and the Sox get fed up with his antics by demoting him to Double A, where he still pitches like crap.

• Mike Timlin can't get anyone out and can only be trusted in games where we're either winning by ten or losing by ten.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, these are your 2008 Boston Red Sox. And you know what? I think they're going to win the World Series again this year. They've outscored their opponents by 165 runs this year while playing in the toughest division in all of baseball. But you know what I love about this team- our starting pitching. Who is going to beat Beckett, Matsuzaka and Lester? Beckett is one of the best post season pitchers in baseball history, Matsuzaka will throw so many pitches that he'll literally cause the other team to fall asleep and Lester has been the real ace of this team all year. Their bullpen is a bit shaky but when you have Okajima and Papelbon that's pretty much all you need.

One last note about this year. While I'm happy for the Tampa Rays being in the playoffs, it just doesn't feel like October baseball without the Yankees. If for no other reason, it was always fun watching Alex Rodriguez fail miserably in clutch situations.

Once the schedule is complete, I'll be back with a first round series breakdown. Although, it doesn't even matter because I'm already picking the Sox in four, regardless of their first round opponent. Is it too early to fire up the duck boats?

Is Tom Brady Really Injured?

I was all prepared to finish my Red Sox column today and then I saw pictures of Tom Brady walking around in New York with Gisele, which led me to question whether Tom Brady is really injured. Seriously, watch the video below. Yeah, he's walking with a bit of a limp but isn't a little limp better than starting a healthy Matt Cassel? Heck, Brady with a little limp is still better than 98.62 percent of the starting quarterbacks out there. I say that if Brady can walk then he should still be playing. And if he can go shopping and carry Gisele's bag then he should definitely be playing. I still think that Bill Belichick may have just given Brady the entire year off and there really is no injury.

And I love how everyone around here was saying that Brady would be such an asset to Cassel throughout the year even though he was injured because he'd be in all the team meetings, at practices and helping to break down film. Yeah, last I knew, the Patriots didn't practice in New York.

Just a few comments about the video, too. Why is Gisele not laying down palm branches as she walks ahead of Brady? Did she really need to bolt from the car just so she could take the full forty seconds to open the door? And that's a pretty cool wallet chain Brady's got. Although, I didn't think he ever had to pay for anything. And what's up with the questions from the "reporter?" That guy cracks me up with asking if Tom's actually going to have surgery in Europe. He obviously still thinks that Brady is injured.

I can't wait for Brady and the Patriots to annihilate the San Francisco 49ers in two Sundays. Maybe they will finish 18-1 again this year.

That Was Embarassing

After yesterday's blow out loss at home to the lowly Miami Dolphins, I can't decide if I should revise my predicted record for the Patriots this year from 11-5 to 12-4 or 3-13. In situations like these, it's important not to over react and come to a realization that it's just one loss. Granted, it could be one of many loses but still, it's just one loss so far. The Patriots looked and played as poorly as I've ever seen them play. My guess is this is just one more of Bill Belicheat's motivational tools to get this team fired up and win the last 13 games of the year. Maybe I should have picked them to go 15-1. They could still finish the year 18-1, just like last year, but they'll be bringing home the hardware come February this time. Belichick is such a genius that I wouldn't put it past him.

Here are just a few of my thoughts on yesterday's game while wondering if Vinny Testaverde, at age 44, would be a better alternative than Matt Cassel.

• Yesterday's loss was the first time the Patriots have lost at home since November 2006 and snaps their league reocrd 21 consecutive regular season wins. In the end, this is probably a good thing because there will be no more pressure as the consecutive win streak builds.

• At first, I thought that the Dolphins simply beat the Patriots by running a bunch of trick plays but now I don't think so. Direct snapping the ball to the running back, especially when the quarterback is lined up as a wide reciever, isn't any different than a handoff. Sure, maybe they were surprised the first time it happened but has the defense ever heard of making adjustments during the game. For the day, Brown had four touchdowns on 113 yards rushing and the Dolpins as a team rushed for more than 200 yards.

• About the only bright spot for the Patriots was return man Ellis Hobbs, who returned 6 kicks for 237 yards. Unfortunately, he was getting burned on defense every time the Dolphins threw the ball his way.

• Say what you want about the injury to Tom Brady, but giving up more than 450 yards of offense to the Dolphins is nothing more than sucky defense. I seriously doubt that the Patriots would have won this game with Brady playing based on how bad the defense looked.

• I guess I've got to give Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter some credit- he may be the first opposing player to come into New England and back up his trash talk. He had six tackles, five of them solo, three sacks and forced a fumble.

• Not sure if Matt Cassel sucks for good or just had a bad game. He completed 19 of 31 passes for 131 yards, which is an average of 7 yards a pass. That's kind of pathetic that the recievers aren't picking up more yardage but it would also be nice to see the Patriots let Cassel throw further downfield. It also didn't help that Cassel was sacked three times, fumbled once and threw an interception.

• It also probably didn't help that Cassel was replaced by third string quarterback Kevin O'Connell with six minutes left in the game.

• Is Rodney HGHarrsion afraid of contact because he looks like he shys away from getting hit a lot. I don't even think they need to wash his uniform- just hang it back up and let him wear it in the next game. And have you ever seen a player make it look like he's trying harder than him when he has no chance of making a play? Seriously, Ronnie Brown is scampering down the field untouched and there's HGHarrison, making it look like he's giving it his all by trying to outrun him. Here's an idea- don't let the opposing team get past you to start with.

• With the bye week for the Patriots coming up, get ready for two weeks of nonstop talk about how bad Cassel is, how Randy Moss isn't running routes or playing hard, how bad this team is, how shakey the defense is, and how Belicheat can't win without Brady. But this is probably exactly how the Hooded Genius planned it. He's probably already preparing his game speech about how no one thinks this team is any good, how they can't even win at home, how everyone is doubting the defense and how much their quarterback sucks. If you think about it, it's actually the perfect motivational tool. If I'm San Francisco (the next opponent for the Patriots), I'd be afraid, very, very afraid.

Hopefully I'll be back later this week with my much anticipated Red Sox column and more NFL Picks. I like the Patriots verse the bye week.

Week 3 NFL Picks With Pats-Dolphins Preview

Well, work has completely gotten in the way of my blogging this week so I'm combining my picks and my Patriots-Dolphins squish the fish preview into one column. Actually, it works out better this way since there really isn't much to say about the Patriots-Dolphins game. All you need to know is that Joey Porter opened his big mouth and trash talked Matt Cassel and the Patriots. And in case you forgot, that didn't work out too good for the last person who ripped the Pats.

Anyway, here are this week's picks. Winning team is in CAPS. I'm too lazy to go back and figure out my record for last week or year-to-date but maybe I'll have more time to showcase my stellar math skills next week.

Sunday, September 21
Kansas City at ATLANTA
Kansas City absolutely stinks right now, as evidenced by them losing their home opener last week to the Oakland Raiders. How long before Herm Edwards is fired?

Oakland at BUFFALO
I like Buffalo a lot this year, especially after a tough road win last week in Jacksonville.

Tampa Bay at CHICAGO
Chicago has looked pretty good in the early part of the season, even though they dropped a tough game last week in Carolina.

HOUSTON at Tennessee
Can we give the Tennessee Titans to the CFL?

Carolina at MINNESOTA
I don't understand why everyone is so concerned that Gus Frerotte was named the starting quarterback for the Vikings. Tavaris Jackson was terrible in that role and deserved to get benched, even if Frerotte is the backup. Did I really pick Minnesota?

Miami at NEW ENGLAND
There are two things that you need to know about this game:
Point 1. Miami Dolphins outside linebacker Joey Porter said the following about Matt Cassel: "He's not a Tom Brady. So if it's not Tom Brady, it shouldn't be that hard. It'll be good to go out there and get our first victory. You treat him like you treat a backup. You throw the kitchen sink at him. That's what we're going to do."

If people have learned anything about the Patriots in the last decade, it's that they use the slightest negative thing said about them to absolutely destroy you. Again, see Anthony Smith from last year. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Bill Belichick is devising plays designed to embarass Porter, which is exactly what the Patriots did with Smith in the Pittsburgh game last year.

Did anyone even remember that Joey Porter was still playing? I thought he retired when he left Pittsburgh a few years ago.

Point 2: The Patriots have won 21 straight regular-season games while the Dolphins have lost 20 of their past 21 games. Does anyone even remember when the last time the Dolphins were in the playoffs? And just in case you're wondering, the Patriots smacked around the Dolphins by a combined score of 77-35 last year. So I'm not sure how anyone could possibly think that the Dolphins are in any type of position to win this game, with or without Tom Brady.

Point 3: I know, I said there were only two points to the Patriots winning this game but I lied. Chad Pennington is the quarterback of the Miami Dolphins. Maybe this should have been point number one but having Pennington as the opposing quarterback is like a secret weapon for the Patriots because you know he'll do something stupid at some point in the game, like throw three interceptions.

The Patriots and Matt Cassel roll to a 31-10 victory and I have no clue how the Dolphins can possibly score 10 points in this game.

CINCINNATI at NY Giants
I have no clue how a worthless team like Cincinnati is going to come in and knock off the Giants. It may be worth noting that Cincinnati has only scored 17 points in two games. And yes, I'm still picking them or rather, picking agains the Giants.

ARIZONA at Washington
I guess I'll ride the Kurt Warner band wagon until it comes crashing to a halt.

Detroit at SAN FRANCISCO
Do I really have to pick a winner here? When in doubt, pick against the Lions.

St. Louis at SEATTLE
Seattle is so bad right now that I actually think this might be a close game.

New Orleans at DENVER
I actually like Denver really big in this game.

Pittsburgh at PHILADELPHIA
The Eagles played a heck of a game on Monday night and Donovan McNabb looks like he's finally healthy.

JACKSONVILLE at Indianapolis
It's hard to believe that both of these teams could be 1-2 if Jacksonville wins.

Cleveland at BALTIMORE
Baltimore has had a smothering defense the first two games of the year, allowing only ten points total.

Dallas at GREEN BAY
Two of the higher scoring offenses in the league meet in this matchup. This should be the first of many good games between Tony Romo and Aaron Rodgers. And yes, I realize that I may have been mistaken about my prediction of Rodgers not being very good.

Monday, September 22
NY Jets at SAN DIEGO
Two of my least favorite teams in all of sports meet up for Monday Night Football. After losing to the Patriots last week, I would be shocked if anyone actually thinks the Jets have a chance in this game.

The J-E-T-S Suck

If you're a Jets fan waking up this morning, do you still feel good about your team? Seriously, this is the team that everyone picked to be the new leader of the AFC East after Tom Brady was knocked out for the year and you play like that? That was some ugly football on display in nearly every facet of the game, especially considering all the talk leading up to the game. When all is said and done this year, I think the Jets will be exactly what we thought they'd be: a team that was 4-12 last year who added an aging hall of famer as their quarterback. In other words, look for another losing season out of the Jets.

Anyway, here are just a few of my thoughts while I ponder if the Jets would have been better off keeping Chad Pennington over Brett Favre.

• There was never a moment in this game where I felt like the Patriots were in danger of losing. The Jets looked like a team that thought they should win the game just because they were favored. The blame on that one has to fall on Eric Mangini, the Jets head coach, for not getting his team fired up.

• On the flip side, Bill Belichick has his team ready to go on offense, defense and special teams from the start of the game.

• The defense for the Patriots played extremly well. Richard Seymour was in on a lot of pass rushes, as was Tedy Bruschi, and Favre was under constant pressure. Once again, the weak link was Rodney HGHarrison who got burned on the only Jets touchdown. On the replay, you can see HGHarriosn faking a pass interference call as the Jets reciever breaks free. Any ball thrown HGHarrison's way scares me.

• I don't recall ever seeing a sack go for a 20 yard loss like the play where Adalius Thomas sacked Favre. That was a pretty spectacular play to take down both Favre and the other Jets defender together.

• Randy Moss wasn't nearly as involved as I thought he'd be and that has me a little concerned, as does the dropped ball in the fourth quarter. Yes, I realize Matt Cassel underthrew the ball but it still hit Moss right between the numbers. If the Patriots want to continue winning, Moss needs to be more involved, and I think he will have some monster games in the next few weeks. This was Moss after the game: "The New England Patriots are 2 and 0. So, all you haters, keep hating. We're coming."

• What happened to Laurence Maroney? He only ran eight times for 16 yards. With some quick math, I figured out that's an average of only two yards a run. Lamont Jordan seems to have taken the starting running back job from Maroney by rushing 11 times for 62 yards. More importanly, I never saw Jordan run into any of his own guys.

• Cassel did a good job protecting the ball and pretty much did what people thought he would do. He finished 16 for 23 for 165 yards. Even though he had no touchdowns, he also didn't have any interceptions.

• Can you imagine if Brady were healthy and played in this game? What would the score have been? 52-10? 60-10? If you're Mangini this morning do you wake up wondering if you'll ever be able to beat the Patriots? I sort of think that Brady could have still played this game with a torn ACL and MCL and won based on how pathetic the Jets looked.

• Here's an interesting note about the salary of Favre: through the first two weeks of the season, Favre has earned $1.41 million in base salary. For the entire 2008-2009 season, Matt Cassel, Matt Gutierrez and Kevin O'Connell will earn $1.16 million in combined base salary. And now that I've thought about it, I think I would rather have Chad Pennington than Favre if I were a Jets fan (thank goodness I'm not because that team is pathetic). The Jets, for the most part, are a young team. Having Favre play quarterback for a year or two is only going to impede the development of another young quarterback. Favre will be long gone when this team is ready to seriously compete for the AFC title and at that point, they may be left with no real options at QB.

• Was the final score of the game a reflection of the Jets being over rated or the Patriots being under rated? I think the Patriots will use the under rated card for the rest of the year to try to get themselves fired up but I also feel like the Jets are way over rated.

• Did you catch the footage of Bob Kraft towards the end of the game? Was he wearing an all white shirt? Apparently his only blue shirt with the white collar must have been at the dry cleaners.

• Up next for the undefeated Patriots are the hapless Miami Dolphins. If you thought the Jets played poorly yesterday, just wait until you see the Dolphins next week. We may actually see Matt Gutierrez come in the game to run out the clock.

Stay tuned for NFL Week 3 Picks Wednesday and my Pats-Dolphins preview Friday or Saturday. I may even throw in a Red Sox update at some point as they march towards repeating as World Champions.

Patriots-Jets Preview

Now that I've had a few days to recover from last week's loss of Tom Brady, my thoughts are a little clearer and I've analyzed this team from every angle possible. I've also drank lots and lots of the Bill Belichick Cool Aid (I prefer the green Cool Aid to the red Cool Aid). Are the Patriots as good as they were last week with Brady leading the way? Absolutely not. Are they still an elite team with a serious shot at getting back to the Super Bowl? I say yes. I know, call me crazy, but I still say yes.

Let's keep in mind that this team is still loaded on offense with Randy Moss, Wes Welker, Jabar Gaffney, Benjamin Watson and a group of running backs that includes Laurence Maroney, Lamont Jordan, Kevin Faulk and about ten other guys. Are they still shaky on the defensive side of the ball? Yes, they have some work to do but they're younger than they were last year and have more speed than they had last year, as well. I'd look for them to be in the top eight teams defensively. And just for the record, I don't recall Brady playing defense so his injury has nothing to do with how the defense plays.

Now, let's talk offense. What would you say if Matt Cassel comes in and has a season where he completes 56 percent of his passes, which is about 300 completions on 530 attemps or approximately 20 of 35 per game? I'd take it. What if Cassel throws 23 touchdowns and has 20 interceptions for a quarterback rating around 74? I'd still take it. Now let's throw in a few fumbles on his part, say seven for the remaining 15 games. What would you think? Well, those are the EXACT numbers that Eli Freaking Manning put up last year. And yes, I just threw up. If Matt Cassel puts up numbers anywhere near those numbers, than the NFL may as well start engraving the players' names into the Vince Lombardi Trophy. Granted, I don't think that Cassel will be throwing it 35 times a week but look for him to have workmanlike days similar to the Chiefs game where he was 13-18 for 152 yards and a TD.

Here's the thing about Brady's injury- Matt Cassel doesn't need to come in and be Brady. He just needs to be an effective clock manager, throw to Moss and Welker, read the defensive schemes to make adjustments at the line, and keep the mistakes to a minimum. Look, I know that Brady threw 50 touchdowns last year but half of those came when the Patriots were already blowing teams out.

The biggest pressure is going to be on the running backs and, specifically, Maroney. This would be the perfect time for him to stop running into his own guys and just use his explosive speed to get into the open field. And I think he will. We saw it towards the end of last year so look for him to be more involved offensively in the weeks ahead. And on the days when Maroney can't help carry the team, look for Jordan to come in and grind it out with his smash mouth running style.

As for this week's game against the Jets, I don't think a whole lot has changed. Remember last year after the Patriots got caught cheating and the San Diego Chargers were coming to town licking their chops just waiting to jump on a team that looked devastated? Yeah, the Chargers somehow bungled that into a 38-14 loss. That game was won for Bill Belicheat and I have no doubt that the Patriots are going to come out on Sunday and absolutely dominate the Jets.

And let's not forget that the Patriots have the ultimate no-respect guy on the planet in Rodney HGHarrison. Even when the Patriots went 16-0 last year, HGHarrison was still crying about not being respected. What do you think HGHarrison is going to do when he sees that the Patriot have gone from being the Super Bowl favorite to be ranked 12th in Super Bowl odds? And what do you think he's going to do when he sees the Bernard Pollard fan club shirts? This team and Belichick use the smallest slight against them in their favor every week.

We should also remember that it was just about a month ago that Brett Favre came out of retirement, joined a new team, admitted he hadn't worked out in six months and then stepped into the limelight as the Jets new quarterback. And just for the record, I never doubted that he was retired. Big deal that the Jets beat the Dolphins last week. They were 1-15 last year. I still think that the Patriots' improved defense is going to find a way to get to Favre and make him wish he stayed retired.

Between the emotion of winning for Brady and the emotion of not letting the Jets beat them, I'm going back to the score of the second game of last year. Patriots 38-14, even though I'm still not convinced the Jets can score 14 points.

Week 2 NFL Picks

Now you all know why I don't bet on these games. Last week I was 7-9 so take these picks for what they're worth, which apparently isn't very much. As always, winning team is in CAPS.

Sunday, September 14
Tennessee at CINCINNATI
Tennessee is just awful, with or without Vince Young. Although, I don't think Cincinnati is much better.

GREEN BAY at Detroit
How bad does Detroit have to get for Matt Millen to be fired?

Oakland at KANSAS CITY
Can I pick a tie here? Seriously, both these teams suck. I guess I'll continue with my rule of picking the home team when in doubt.

NY Giants at ST. LOUIS
I'm keeping my word from last week and not picking the Giants to win a game this year. Although, I have no confidence that St. Louis could beat a Pop Warner team right now.

Indianapolis at MINNESOTA
Indianapolis falls to 0-2 and we see the return of the Peyton Manning Horse Face. I'm excited!

NEW ORLEANS at Washington
I think that Washington is over rated this year. Although, I think that New Orleans is over rated, too.

Chicago at CAROLINA
Nice win by Chicago in Indy last weekend. Unfortunately, the real Kyle Orton is playing for the Bears this weekend.

Buffalo at JACKSONVILLE
I like Buffalo this year but I don't think they can topple the Jaguars on their own field.

SAN FRANCISCO at Seattle
Seattle is holding a contest with the winner getting to play wide receiver in this weekend's game.

ATLANTA at Tampa Bay
Matt Ryan leads the Falcons to two straight wins. Michael Vick continues weeping in a dark penitentiary.

Baltimore at HOUSTON
No particular reason here. I'm not even applying my when in doubt pick the home team rule. It was a completely arbitrary pick.

NEW ENGLAND at NY Jets
I'm going with New England in this game and it has nothing to do with me being a complete homer. I'm also picking them big. More to come in a special Saturday edition of Running Up The Score.

Miami at ARIZONA
Kurt Warner looked like the Kurt Warner of old last weekend.

San Diego at DENVER
I'm sticking with my prediction that San Diego misses the playoffs. Denver might be good this year with an experienced Jay Cutler leading the way.

PITTSBURGH at Cleveland
Pittsburgh in a rout. Seriously, Cleveland is in big trouble this year.

Monday, September 15
PHILADELPHIA at Dallas
Tony Romo and the Cowgirls tend to shrink in the spotlight. Look for that to continue on MNF.

I Think I May Have Been Brain Washed

In the last forty eight hours since Tom Brady collapsed on the field, I've somehow gone from the Patriots being 1-15 this year to them going 11-5. At first, I didn't think a torn ACL was that big of a deal and that Tom Brady would be back after the week four bye. At the latest, I thought he'd be back for the Colts game in week nine. How long does a torn ACL take to heal anyway? But apparently even Brady is human and will miss the rest of the year (I just threw up in my mouth).

So, yes, I officially drank the Cool-Aid that Bill Belichick passes out during practice and am brainwashed into thinking that Matt Cassel is going to go from being the ultimate clip board holder to leading this team back to the Super Bowl even though Cassel hasn't started a game at quarterback since before his high school prom.

Somehow I believe that this is all just part of Belicheat's plan to level the playing field around the NFL. He looks around the league and figures that they have a pancake schedule this year so let's give Tom Brady a year off to hang with Gisele. Remember last year how the Patriots were simply crushing their opponents early on by scores of 52-7 at halftime? Well, now Belicheck wants to show that he can win the close games, too, and do it without Brady. Gotta love a guy up for a big challenge.

So in comes Matt Cassel to save the day, just like Tom Brady did when Drew Bledsoe went down in 2001. I have no doubt that Cassel will be breaking Brady's TD record this year. In fact, I'd be shocked if he isn't already dating some super model. Remember- he's been learning from Brady the last four years.

And for all of the people out there who want to quote Belicheat's record without Brady, which is 42-58, I say it has no relevance whatsoever. Seriously, have you seen the team he was handed in Cleveland? That team stunk and he took them from being a perennial loser to a playoff team. And once that team bolted for Baltimore, it took years for them to be any good again. Same thing when Belichick took over the Patriots- the team was a mess because of what Bobby Grier and Pete 'jacked and pumped' Carroll did with the draft and free agents.

So how are the Patriots going to go 11-5 without Tom Brady. Well, as Mayor Menino would say, "They'll do it with teamwork." Here's what I think:

Kansas City Chiefs W 17-10
@ New York Jets W (Belicheat would rather get caught cheating again than lose this game) 2-0
Miami Dolphins W 3-0
Week 4 Bye Week
@ San Francisco 49ers W 4-0
@ San Diego Chargers W (we own the Chargers) 5-0
vs. Denver Broncos L (Monday night in Foxboro) 5-1
vs. St. Louis Rams W 6-1
@ Indianapolis Colts L 6-2
Buffalo Bills W 7-2
vs. New York Jets W 8-2
@ Miami Dolphins L 8 - 3
vs. Pittsburgh L 8 - 4
@ Seattle Seahawks W 9 - 4
@ Oakland Raiders W 10 - 4
vs. Arizona Cardinals W 11 - 4
@ Buffalo Bills L (starters rest after Patriots clinch a first round bye) 11 - 5

I have no doubt that Belichick probably threw up when he saw Brady go down but I love the fact that he never even went over to check on Brady. It may as well have been the 53rd man on the team being helped off the field for all Belichick cared. And that's the message he sends to the entire team- no one player is any more important than another. If that means using Cassel in an efficient manner that utilizes a lot of short drop passes and screen plays while grounding it out with their running game, so be it. All I know is that this team is still Super Bowl bound.

See, I told you I drank the Cool Aid. In Belichick we trust.

Pats-Chiefs Preview

Now that the preseason is out of the way, the Patriots can get down to business. And just like the Patriots, I'll get right down to business with this preview: I don't care that the Patriots went 0-4 this preseason, which is exactly how I would feel if they were to go 4-0 in the preseason. It means nothing, especially when you have people like Matt Cassel taking snaps as the starting quarterback. Cassel is on this team for one reason and one reason only: he's really good at holding a clip board.

The Patriots' opponent will be none other than the Kansas City Chiefs, who were just awful last year. They ended up 4-12 and finished the year on a nine game losing streak. But the real story is that Herm Edwards is, unbelievably, still their coach and that's never a good thing. When the Chiefs come to town with Edwards as their head coach, they should automatically be disqualified. He reminds me of the dead guy in Weekend at Bernie's with the way he handles game adjustments and play calling. No team with him as the head coach is coming here to beat the (almost) defending Super Bowl Champions. Have I told you I hate the New York Giants? In fact, I hate the San Francisco Giants, too, just because they're also Giants. If my daughter's soccer team is called the Giants this year, I'm holding a protest until it's changed and the shirts are incinerated.

From what I can tell, the Patriots will start the year off by unveling the Perfect Season 19-0 banner at Gillette Stadium on Sunday. Oops, I think it's actually a 16-0 banner but what's the difference, right? Can we watch the tape again and see if they really lost the Super Bowl. Actually, no, I don't think I want to watch the tape again. By the way, unless you're hanging Super Bowl banners, I don't want to hear about 16-0 banners. That's just lame.

Anyway, when the offense for the Patriots steps onto the field on Sunday, number 12 will be there. I don't care what people are saying about Tom Brady's foot/ankle injury. In fact, I have a hard time believing that he's even injured. Somehow, I think Brady's "injury" was Bill Belicheat's sneaky way of getting the Chiefs to feel like they had a chance in this game, which they don't. Let's remember that this is the same Brady who has been listed on the injury report with a shoulder injury for the last four years and yet, has never missed a game or received any treatment for that "injury" either.

The Patriots opened as 14 point favorites in Vegas when it was still questionable if Brady would start. That line has gone up to 16 1/2. Even Vegas doesn't believe Brady is injured.

As for Brady, this reminds me of last season when everone was so concerned about Randy Moss because he missed all of the preseason. Yeah, how'd that work out for him? How about having 98 catches for 1,493 yards and a record setting 23 touchdowns. Not bad for a guy who didn't play in the preseason.

So I don't expect the "injury" to Brady to be a concern going forward. Besides, everyone knows that the only thing that can harm Superman is kryponite and I'm pretty sure there's not much of that stuff around anymore. But the thought does bring up an interesting point. What if Brady does go down with a real injury at some point during the season? I think we could say hello to the 2008 Miami Dolphins, holders of the 1-15 record. For a coach who prepares as much as Belichick does and who is always looking for an edge in every possible category (even if it means cheating), it seems kind of scary that our backup quarterback is Matt Cassel. As for Brady, I have a feeling that he's been practicing his deep routes with Gisele all offseason so I can see him easily going 23-30, 275 yards, 3 touchdowns and that's before he even sets foot on the field.

I do have my concerns on the defensive side for the Patriots, though. Rodney HGHarrison is back again, as is Tedy Bruschi. I thought maybe the Patriots would cut ties with both of them at the end of last year so let's hope they each have another year in the tank. If not, it will still be fun watching HGHarrison trying to get away with late hits. But my real concern on the defensive side is Richard Seymour, who seems to have fallen off the face of the earth in the last year. Either he's hurt or he completely sucks because he's been a nonfactor for too long.

As for the offense, it appears that Belichick is going for the seven man backfield by brining in every available running back. I think the stacked backfield will be good because at some point Laurence Maroney's going to get hurt running into one of his own guys and we need a Lamont Jordan to step in and show him how to be a power back. I think we can expect lots of screen passes out of this offense to help take the pressure off of Moss and Brady and let's not forget about their three tight ends that will start the season on the roster.

While this weekend represents the kickoff of another NFL season, let's not forget that it also represents Bob Kraft returning to show us his unlimited collection of blue shirts with white collars. And if that doesn't get you fired up for football season than nothinig will.

Final score: Patriots 38-10.







And in honor of Herm Edwards, here's one of the oddest conversations I've ever seen. Can you ever imagine Belicheat saying anything like this?

Week 1 NFL Picks

My two month vacation has ended just in time for the start of another NFL season, which kicks off this Thursday night with the defending Super Bowl Champion New York Giants (I just threw up a little in my mouth) taking on the Washington Redskins. The first weekend of NFL games concludes with two Monday Night Football games on Monday night (obviously).

If I had tons of money to wager, these would be my picks. And just like last year, the winning team is in CAPS.

Thursday, September 4
WASHINGTON at NY Giants
You can pencil it in right now: I won't pick the Giants to win a game all year*.

Sunday, September 7
Detroit at ATLANTA
Rookie quarterback Matt Ryan leads Atlanta to the win. Somewhere in a dark penitentiary, Michael Vick weeps.

Seattle at BUFFALO
I'm taking Buffalo here for the simple fact that I don't think Seattle is even bringing a wide receiver to the game due to injuries.

JACKSONVILLE at Tennessee
I have a feeling that Vince Young may not be the starting QB for Tennessee for very much longer. I also have a feeling that's not necessarily a bad thing.

NY Jets at MIAMI
Chad Pennington outduels Brett Favre for the win. Those are definitely words I never thought I'd write.

Kansas City at NEW ENGLAND
More to come on Friday.

TAMPA BAY at New Orleans
Tampa Bay uses its rotation of six starting QBs to knock off New Orleans.

St. Louis at PHILADELPHIA
St. Louise pretty much stunk last year. I don't see much changing this year.

Houston at PITTSBURGH
When in doubt, pick the home team.

CINCINNATI at Baltimore
Each of these teams has a 53 man roster, for a combined 106 players. Of those 106 players, 67 have criminal records. I just made that stat up but I bet you totally believed it because it's probably not too far from the truth.

CAROLINA at San Diego
Lots of people are picking San Diego as an early favorite for this year's AFC Super Bowl representative. I'd be shocked if they made the playoffs this year*.

Arizona at SAN FRANCISCO
It's never a good sign when Kurt Warner is your starting QB.

DALLAS at Cleveland
Look for Cleveland to resume its tradition of having lousy football teams this year.

Chicago at INDIANAPOLIS
I was prepared to pick whoever was playing against the Colts just because I hate them but then I figured that Jim Sorgi could probably lead the Colts to a W over Chicago even if Peyton Manning doesn't play.

Monday, September 8
MINNESOTA at Green Bay
Green Bay fans are going to find out quickly how bad Aaron Rodgers is. And yes, I said how bad because I don't think Rodgers will be able to succeed in Green Bay*.

Denver at OAKLAND
You know how when two teams meet early in the season and people say stupid things like, "Both of these teams are so good that this could be a playoff preview, folks." Yeah, this isn't one of those games.

* I reserve the right to change my mind.