Josh Beckett is Wicked Smaht

So the talk of the town around here (even bigger than the Elliot #9 Spitzer prostitution story and Mumbles Menino being the 109th highest paid City of Boston employee) is that Josh Beckett has a crippling back injury that may force him into a wheelchair for the rest of his life. In fact, Beckett may only live another month or two because of this rare, newfound terminal condition.

Actually, that's not quite true but based on the coverage of Beckett's 'injury,' you'd think the guy was some kind of number one ace for the defending World Series Champions. Oh, yeah, he is the number one ace for the defending World Series Champions!

I have to admit that I'm not quite sure what's going on here. Is Beckett really injured? He may very well be but I'm not buying it. I just think he's way smahtah than everyone else and has found a way out of going to the season opening series in Japan. And who can blame him? Beckett is the backbone of this team right now and is by far the best pitcher that they have. Do you honestly think that Beckett wants to get on a plane and sit for close to 20 hours straight, pitch against the Oakland A's in Japan and then make the return 20 hour flight home? I'm guessing no.

And he's gotta be looking at Daisuke Matsuzaka and thinking that he got his wife pregnant just so he wouldn't have to go home to Japan so there really must not be much to see there. I've go to believe that Beckett's just looking for a way out of this series and I'm fine with it. Heck, he could have just come out and said that he thinks this is a stupid idea and doesn't want to do it and I would have been totally cool with that, too. Heck, they could have given him an incentive clause in his contract for not going and I would still think he's the best pitcher in the American League.

I wouldn't even be surprised if at some point down the road we find out that Theo Epstein and Terry Francona are behind this 'injury' business. Somehow, they're already setting up their pitching staff so that Beckett can dominate the Billy Crystal and the Yankees the first time we play them this year.

Look, Coco Crap has tried this stunt all spring training by coming up with one ailment after another and no one's been fooled by his injuries. And besides, Coco's gotta go so he can be the stewardess on the plane- there's no other explanation why Coco's still on this team. I wonder if they've told Coco that they only got him a one way ticket.

I think the only thing that's surprising about this 'injury' is that Manny Being Manny didn't think of it first, although I have to believe that Manny probably thinks Japan is the 51st State of the Union.

Some Links That You May or May Not Enjoy

New Three Versus Big Three. I think this should put to rest the debate about who was better- the current Big Three for the Celtics or the former Big Three. I'd say that the former Big Three wins in a landslide (or by the width of Kevin McHale's armspan, which still freaks me out to this day).


Moss shuns late grab. For all of the bad things that were written about Randy Moss over the course of his career, he's been nothing but a model citizen since joining (and resigning) with the Patriots. Yes, I do believe that Bill Belicheat puts something in the water. And did you know that Moss has his own website?


New York lawmaker urges FBI to drop Clemens probe. I've got to admit that I agree with this guy. I would hope that Congress and the FBI would have more pressing things on their hands than to continue to ruin Clemens' career. Besides, Clemens is doing a fine job of ruining his career all by himself.


London man wants to become world's oldest marathoner. This guy is 101 years old and he's preparing to run the London Marathon. I feel sort of useless when I think about the fact that I couldn't run more than a mile without passing out. And just to clarify, when he says he'll have a pint and a fag after completing the race, he's talking about a cigarette. This guy also has 17 kids!


Aaron Rodgers says he's ready. What he says and what he's capable of are two different things. If I were a Packer fan, I'd be pretty nervous with this kid coming in and it has nothing to do with an adjustment to a new quarterback- I just don't think Rodgers is that good.


Is Big Papi Hall bound? It will be interesting to see how this plays out, since no pure DH has ever been elected to the Hall of Fame. I think Big Papi will need at least another three or four years of being one of the best hitters in the game to pull it off. Another World Series title (or two) wouldn't hurt, either.


Gaffney back in the mix. I said late last year that Jabar Gaffney was poised to be the third receiver for the Patriots next year, as he moved ahead of Donte Stallworth on the depth chart.


Papelbon gets a raise out of Sox. This was turning into the hot story of spring training earlier this week when the Sox and Papelbon seemed far apart on a contract. I've said before that the only thing that worries me about Jonathan Papelbon is his mouth. If you don't like making $775,000 a year to pitch, perhaps you'd prefer making $8 a hour pumping gas. Your choice.


Secondary getting a boost. Has anyone noticed that the Patriots are stockpiling defensive players this offseason? This is how the Patriots have been so successful in the past- they don't make a ton of flashy signings but they find the right pieces at the right price.


Pitching like it's 1999. And to think that this article could have been on Johan Santana and Josh Beckett. Or Josh Beckett and Pedro Martinez. Or Josh Beckett, Pedro Martinez and Johan Santana. Just out of curiosity, has anyone else noticed that Tacoby Bellsbury, John Lester and Clay Bucholz have all stunk this preseason so far? Why do I have the feeling that Lester and Bucholz could both stink while Santana is winning five consecutive Cy Young awards pitching for the Mets.

Apparently Dustin 'Daddy' Pedroia's idea of offseason conditioning includes lifting donuts to your mouth and repeating one hundred times a day:

Favre Rides Off Into The Sunset

After coming in second in the NFL's MVP balloting last year with one vote, taking his team to the NFC Championship Game and breaking just about every QB record that exists, Brett Favre has called it quits.

I'm not buying it.

Just last week he was actively campaigning to sign Randy Moss, going so far as to call Moss personally. I know that the Packers and Favre both say that Moss signing on with the Patriots had no bearing on his decision to retire but I don't buy it. What if Moss had signed on with the Packers? Would Favre have retired. The answer is no and we all know it.

I think that Favre is quite possibly the best quarterback to ever play the game. Yes, even better than Joe Montana, Peyton Manning and Cleo Lemon. Favre was what Tom Brady is today. Recievers excel with the Patriots because of Brady and his ability to get them the ball at the right time in the right spot. Look what's happened to all of the so-called integral recievers the Patriots have lost over the years- David Givens, Deion Branch, Reche Caldwell and the list goes on. Those guys all have one thing in common once they leave New England. They suck. Same with the recievers from Green Bay. Favre has made a career out of turning mediocre recievers into stars because of his ability to get them the ball at the right time in the right spot.

Favre never played with a Jerry Rice or Randy Moss type of reciever and, yet, he holds nearly every concievable passing record that exists. Here's a sampling of the records he holds:

Most TD passes: 442 (Peyton Manning already has 306, ranking fourth)
Most passing yards: 61,655
Most wins by a starting QB: 160
Most interceptions: 288 (sorry, that's a bit of a cheap shot)

Favre is also leaving with his record breaking streak of 253 consecutive regular season starts by a quarterback in tact, which is actually 275 including playoff games.

Part of me wants to believe that Favre is walking away from the game like so many players should- on their own terms, at the top of their game and with their health in tact. But I don't think Favre is the kind of guy who can sit home and drive the kids to school or get into television. Remember, this is a guy who has an addictive personality and playing quarterback in the NFL in sold out stadiums with the crowd chanting your name is an addiction.

Favre told reporters and team management that he was "mentally tired" but that he "could still play." Here's the thing, though- every NFL player this time of year is mentally tired, especially with the prospect of training camp in July and five months away from home looming over you.

So for now, the Packers will turn their team over to unproven 2005 first round draft pick Aaron Rodgers, who has one career TD in his three years of playing clip board holder for the Packers. I hope he has lots of clean underwear because he's going to need it.

And for now, Favre is a retired quarterback. Until an injury in training camp forces a team to reevaluate their QB situation, or a team gets off to a horrendous start and realizes that Kyle Boller isn't their answer at QB, or until the Packers realize that Rodgers quite possibly could stink, or until the addiction of playing QB in the NFL starts to gnaw at Favre and he hears the crowd chanting his name in his sleep and he wakes up and realizes he made a mistake, that he still has something left in the tank, that he can still play at a high level, that, above all else, football players play football.

Sunday's Not The Same

This video helped me realize just how much I miss watching football. Yeah, baseball season is right around the corner but I just haven't been able to get into it yet this year. Everything in the Red Sox' spring training camp just seems a little too quiet and that has me getting a little worried, similar to a volcano that that has been dormant a little too long but you know something is simmering just below the surface. There's not much Sox talk to write about, unless you think that it would be fun to write about the Red Sox beating Northeastern University 24-0 in an exhibition game. I didn't even hear one person mention that Terry Francona was running up the score on those poor Northeastern players.

Anyway, the title of this video pretty much sums it up. I still feel sick looking at the photo of Eli Manning holding the Lombardi Trophy. . .

Some Links That You May or May Not Enjoy

Law shows interest. In an offseason that has been riddled with marijuana charges against two Patriot players and the continuing SpyGate scandal, bringing Ty Law home would be some much needed welcome news, especially considering that Asante Samuel is already gone. Yeah, he may be 35 but he can't be any worse than what the Patriots trotted onto the field last year.


I already feel sick thinking about this. Would Randy Moss really sign with the Cowgirls? I can't even fathom how ticked off Tom Brady will be if this happens. Please don't tell me that Reche Caldwell is coming back to New England. Yup, I'm gonna be sick.


Baseball team looking for a few fat men. Well, if Bartolo Colon can't crack the starting rotation for the Red Sox, he can always audition to be a "manatee."


Congress asks for probe of Clemens. It wouldn't be a links section without having an article on Roger Clemens. Things just keep going from bad to worse. And the worse it gets for him, the better I feel. Speaking of getting worse, there's also this story about the Astros reconsidering Clemens' personal services contract.


Bears sign QB Grossman. I'm not sure who's the idiot in this story. The Bears are just looking for trouble by resigning Rex Grossman, even if it is to a low risk one-year deal. But I can't figure out why Grossman would want to come back to a place that seemingly hates him. I just don't see this ending well for 'da Bears.


Tiger's setting himself up for a historic run. It turns out that the Patriots couldn't go 19-0 this season. Could Tiger go 19-0?


Obama has Oden's vote. So Greg Oden is voting for Barack Obama because 'He is a real sports fan.' I guess that's as good as any reason during this primary season.


Remaining MLB free agents. Here's a good read on some of the remaining MLB free agents that are available for the right price. It's amazing what some of these knuckleheads have turned down in previous years to go after more money and, in the case of people like Jeff Weaver, it didn't turn out too good.


Coughlin to get 4 year, $21 million extension. For a guy that has had a love-hate relationship with New York, I think this is a huge risk to sign Coughlin for this much. He was nearly fired after starting 0-2 last year. The thing that baffles me the most is that Mike Holmgren is the highest paid coach in the NFL at $8 million a year. That's insane.


Tyree seeks super name for super catch. I feel sick thinking about this catch. I feel even more sick thinking that the Boston Herald actually published this story. I just threw up in my mouth.


With the start of baseball just around the corner, I thought it would be fun to take a look back at some highlights from 1959. Yes, 1959. I have no idea why half of this video is in slow motion but it's pretty funny, especially around the 1:00 minute mark where the pitcher throws his glove at a bird. PETA would roast that guy if it happened today: