Josh Beckett is Wicked Smaht

So the talk of the town around here (even bigger than the Elliot #9 Spitzer prostitution story and Mumbles Menino being the 109th highest paid City of Boston employee) is that Josh Beckett has a crippling back injury that may force him into a wheelchair for the rest of his life. In fact, Beckett may only live another month or two because of this rare, newfound terminal condition.

Actually, that's not quite true but based on the coverage of Beckett's 'injury,' you'd think the guy was some kind of number one ace for the defending World Series Champions. Oh, yeah, he is the number one ace for the defending World Series Champions!

I have to admit that I'm not quite sure what's going on here. Is Beckett really injured? He may very well be but I'm not buying it. I just think he's way smahtah than everyone else and has found a way out of going to the season opening series in Japan. And who can blame him? Beckett is the backbone of this team right now and is by far the best pitcher that they have. Do you honestly think that Beckett wants to get on a plane and sit for close to 20 hours straight, pitch against the Oakland A's in Japan and then make the return 20 hour flight home? I'm guessing no.

And he's gotta be looking at Daisuke Matsuzaka and thinking that he got his wife pregnant just so he wouldn't have to go home to Japan so there really must not be much to see there. I've go to believe that Beckett's just looking for a way out of this series and I'm fine with it. Heck, he could have just come out and said that he thinks this is a stupid idea and doesn't want to do it and I would have been totally cool with that, too. Heck, they could have given him an incentive clause in his contract for not going and I would still think he's the best pitcher in the American League.

I wouldn't even be surprised if at some point down the road we find out that Theo Epstein and Terry Francona are behind this 'injury' business. Somehow, they're already setting up their pitching staff so that Beckett can dominate the Billy Crystal and the Yankees the first time we play them this year.

Look, Coco Crap has tried this stunt all spring training by coming up with one ailment after another and no one's been fooled by his injuries. And besides, Coco's gotta go so he can be the stewardess on the plane- there's no other explanation why Coco's still on this team. I wonder if they've told Coco that they only got him a one way ticket.

I think the only thing that's surprising about this 'injury' is that Manny Being Manny didn't think of it first, although I have to believe that Manny probably thinks Japan is the 51st State of the Union.

Some Links That You May or May Not Enjoy

New Three Versus Big Three. I think this should put to rest the debate about who was better- the current Big Three for the Celtics or the former Big Three. I'd say that the former Big Three wins in a landslide (or by the width of Kevin McHale's armspan, which still freaks me out to this day).


Moss shuns late grab. For all of the bad things that were written about Randy Moss over the course of his career, he's been nothing but a model citizen since joining (and resigning) with the Patriots. Yes, I do believe that Bill Belicheat puts something in the water. And did you know that Moss has his own website?


New York lawmaker urges FBI to drop Clemens probe. I've got to admit that I agree with this guy. I would hope that Congress and the FBI would have more pressing things on their hands than to continue to ruin Clemens' career. Besides, Clemens is doing a fine job of ruining his career all by himself.


London man wants to become world's oldest marathoner. This guy is 101 years old and he's preparing to run the London Marathon. I feel sort of useless when I think about the fact that I couldn't run more than a mile without passing out. And just to clarify, when he says he'll have a pint and a fag after completing the race, he's talking about a cigarette. This guy also has 17 kids!


Aaron Rodgers says he's ready. What he says and what he's capable of are two different things. If I were a Packer fan, I'd be pretty nervous with this kid coming in and it has nothing to do with an adjustment to a new quarterback- I just don't think Rodgers is that good.


Is Big Papi Hall bound? It will be interesting to see how this plays out, since no pure DH has ever been elected to the Hall of Fame. I think Big Papi will need at least another three or four years of being one of the best hitters in the game to pull it off. Another World Series title (or two) wouldn't hurt, either.


Gaffney back in the mix. I said late last year that Jabar Gaffney was poised to be the third receiver for the Patriots next year, as he moved ahead of Donte Stallworth on the depth chart.


Papelbon gets a raise out of Sox. This was turning into the hot story of spring training earlier this week when the Sox and Papelbon seemed far apart on a contract. I've said before that the only thing that worries me about Jonathan Papelbon is his mouth. If you don't like making $775,000 a year to pitch, perhaps you'd prefer making $8 a hour pumping gas. Your choice.


Secondary getting a boost. Has anyone noticed that the Patriots are stockpiling defensive players this offseason? This is how the Patriots have been so successful in the past- they don't make a ton of flashy signings but they find the right pieces at the right price.


Pitching like it's 1999. And to think that this article could have been on Johan Santana and Josh Beckett. Or Josh Beckett and Pedro Martinez. Or Josh Beckett, Pedro Martinez and Johan Santana. Just out of curiosity, has anyone else noticed that Tacoby Bellsbury, John Lester and Clay Bucholz have all stunk this preseason so far? Why do I have the feeling that Lester and Bucholz could both stink while Santana is winning five consecutive Cy Young awards pitching for the Mets.

Apparently Dustin 'Daddy' Pedroia's idea of offseason conditioning includes lifting donuts to your mouth and repeating one hundred times a day:

Favre Rides Off Into The Sunset

After coming in second in the NFL's MVP balloting last year with one vote, taking his team to the NFC Championship Game and breaking just about every QB record that exists, Brett Favre has called it quits.

I'm not buying it.

Just last week he was actively campaigning to sign Randy Moss, going so far as to call Moss personally. I know that the Packers and Favre both say that Moss signing on with the Patriots had no bearing on his decision to retire but I don't buy it. What if Moss had signed on with the Packers? Would Favre have retired. The answer is no and we all know it.

I think that Favre is quite possibly the best quarterback to ever play the game. Yes, even better than Joe Montana, Peyton Manning and Cleo Lemon. Favre was what Tom Brady is today. Recievers excel with the Patriots because of Brady and his ability to get them the ball at the right time in the right spot. Look what's happened to all of the so-called integral recievers the Patriots have lost over the years- David Givens, Deion Branch, Reche Caldwell and the list goes on. Those guys all have one thing in common once they leave New England. They suck. Same with the recievers from Green Bay. Favre has made a career out of turning mediocre recievers into stars because of his ability to get them the ball at the right time in the right spot.

Favre never played with a Jerry Rice or Randy Moss type of reciever and, yet, he holds nearly every concievable passing record that exists. Here's a sampling of the records he holds:

Most TD passes: 442 (Peyton Manning already has 306, ranking fourth)
Most passing yards: 61,655
Most wins by a starting QB: 160
Most interceptions: 288 (sorry, that's a bit of a cheap shot)

Favre is also leaving with his record breaking streak of 253 consecutive regular season starts by a quarterback in tact, which is actually 275 including playoff games.

Part of me wants to believe that Favre is walking away from the game like so many players should- on their own terms, at the top of their game and with their health in tact. But I don't think Favre is the kind of guy who can sit home and drive the kids to school or get into television. Remember, this is a guy who has an addictive personality and playing quarterback in the NFL in sold out stadiums with the crowd chanting your name is an addiction.

Favre told reporters and team management that he was "mentally tired" but that he "could still play." Here's the thing, though- every NFL player this time of year is mentally tired, especially with the prospect of training camp in July and five months away from home looming over you.

So for now, the Packers will turn their team over to unproven 2005 first round draft pick Aaron Rodgers, who has one career TD in his three years of playing clip board holder for the Packers. I hope he has lots of clean underwear because he's going to need it.

And for now, Favre is a retired quarterback. Until an injury in training camp forces a team to reevaluate their QB situation, or a team gets off to a horrendous start and realizes that Kyle Boller isn't their answer at QB, or until the Packers realize that Rodgers quite possibly could stink, or until the addiction of playing QB in the NFL starts to gnaw at Favre and he hears the crowd chanting his name in his sleep and he wakes up and realizes he made a mistake, that he still has something left in the tank, that he can still play at a high level, that, above all else, football players play football.

Sunday's Not The Same

This video helped me realize just how much I miss watching football. Yeah, baseball season is right around the corner but I just haven't been able to get into it yet this year. Everything in the Red Sox' spring training camp just seems a little too quiet and that has me getting a little worried, similar to a volcano that that has been dormant a little too long but you know something is simmering just below the surface. There's not much Sox talk to write about, unless you think that it would be fun to write about the Red Sox beating Northeastern University 24-0 in an exhibition game. I didn't even hear one person mention that Terry Francona was running up the score on those poor Northeastern players.

Anyway, the title of this video pretty much sums it up. I still feel sick looking at the photo of Eli Manning holding the Lombardi Trophy. . .

Some Links That You May or May Not Enjoy

Law shows interest. In an offseason that has been riddled with marijuana charges against two Patriot players and the continuing SpyGate scandal, bringing Ty Law home would be some much needed welcome news, especially considering that Asante Samuel is already gone. Yeah, he may be 35 but he can't be any worse than what the Patriots trotted onto the field last year.


I already feel sick thinking about this. Would Randy Moss really sign with the Cowgirls? I can't even fathom how ticked off Tom Brady will be if this happens. Please don't tell me that Reche Caldwell is coming back to New England. Yup, I'm gonna be sick.


Baseball team looking for a few fat men. Well, if Bartolo Colon can't crack the starting rotation for the Red Sox, he can always audition to be a "manatee."


Congress asks for probe of Clemens. It wouldn't be a links section without having an article on Roger Clemens. Things just keep going from bad to worse. And the worse it gets for him, the better I feel. Speaking of getting worse, there's also this story about the Astros reconsidering Clemens' personal services contract.


Bears sign QB Grossman. I'm not sure who's the idiot in this story. The Bears are just looking for trouble by resigning Rex Grossman, even if it is to a low risk one-year deal. But I can't figure out why Grossman would want to come back to a place that seemingly hates him. I just don't see this ending well for 'da Bears.


Tiger's setting himself up for a historic run. It turns out that the Patriots couldn't go 19-0 this season. Could Tiger go 19-0?


Obama has Oden's vote. So Greg Oden is voting for Barack Obama because 'He is a real sports fan.' I guess that's as good as any reason during this primary season.


Remaining MLB free agents. Here's a good read on some of the remaining MLB free agents that are available for the right price. It's amazing what some of these knuckleheads have turned down in previous years to go after more money and, in the case of people like Jeff Weaver, it didn't turn out too good.


Coughlin to get 4 year, $21 million extension. For a guy that has had a love-hate relationship with New York, I think this is a huge risk to sign Coughlin for this much. He was nearly fired after starting 0-2 last year. The thing that baffles me the most is that Mike Holmgren is the highest paid coach in the NFL at $8 million a year. That's insane.


Tyree seeks super name for super catch. I feel sick thinking about this catch. I feel even more sick thinking that the Boston Herald actually published this story. I just threw up in my mouth.


With the start of baseball just around the corner, I thought it would be fun to take a look back at some highlights from 1959. Yes, 1959. I have no idea why half of this video is in slow motion but it's pretty funny, especially around the 1:00 minute mark where the pitcher throws his glove at a bird. PETA would roast that guy if it happened today:

Red Sox to Get New Stadium- in Tampa Bay

Let me start by saying that I have no clue how a team that is only ten years old can possibly need a new stadium, especially a team whose best year was winning 70 games. But for all of the Red Sox fans who find it cheaper to fly to Tampa Bay, pay for a hotel and tickets to see the Red Sox play the Devil Rays in Tampa than Boston, there is good news: the Devil Rays are building a state-of-the-art stadium with a retractable roof made of weatherproof fabric that will be pulled along cables suspended on a central mast structure that sticks straight out of the ground. The bad news is that the architect who desinged the ballpark was smoking crack, drinking vodka and shooting up when he drew up the plans.

Somehow the architect has also convinced team ownership, MLB officials, local governing bodies and even the Florida Governor himself that this is a good idea. Umm, did they see the design for this thing yet? I guess they were going for the yatch look with the way that the roof is going to be retractable. Having that nice white metal pole sticking out of the ground as the mast also looks like it will make a nice addition to the downtown skyline. I mean, really, who doesn't like a nice big white pole sticking a few hundred feet out of the ground. And when the roof is open, it looks kind of like the Leaning Tower of Tampa Bay. That could end up being a huge attraction for the large Italian population in Tampa Bay.

The new stadium will hold approximately 34,000 people, which is just about the number of Red Sox fans who travel from Boston to the stadium when the Sox are in town. And at a price tag of only $450 million it seems like a bargain compared to the new stadiums that the Yankees and Mets are building, which are both expected to top one billion apiece. Somehow the Devil Rays think they can have this thing open for the 2012 season, which is only four years away. Ownership also thinks that the facility will require no new taxes or the reallocation of existing taxes. Good luck with that one.

Here's some more bad news about the stadium: to protect the majestic views of downtown Tampa Bay and the waterfront, it won't be a true retractable roof. Instead, the roof will act more like an umbrella, allowing for an open-air stadium fell with climate control techniques that will lower temperatures in the stadium by 8-10 degrees. So when it's close to 100 degrees outside, it will be a cool, comfortable 92 inside. Do the Devil Rays really think it's a good idea to have all of those old people sitting around in 90 degree heat for three hours? I guess if you're smoking crack, drinking vodka and shooting up, this plan sounds like a great idea.

W Pays Tribute to Red Sox

Well, the Red Sox made their way to Washington, D.C. yesterday to pay a visit to W as the 2007 World Series Champions (I love writing that) for the second time in two years (I love writing that, too). For those of you who have been stuck on a deserted island after your Oceanic Airlines plane crash and haven't heard the news, the Red Sox did a serious beat down on the Curse of the Bambino and won the World Series in 2004.

Here's some of what transpired during W's comments to the Red Sox at the White House:

∙ "So Tim Wakefield’s batterymate is Doug Mirabelli. Mine is the vice president."

I had no clue that Dick Cheney was still alive. And he was there at the ceremony, no less. How often are the president and vice president in the same place at the same time? And there's even photograph evidence to prove it, just like Roger Clemens being at Jose Canseco's party! All I can think is that it must have been a really slow day for two of the (supposedly) most powerful men in the world to have time for a little fun with the World Series Champions.

∙ "Red Sox Nation extends beyond the South Lawn, extends beyond New England - it obviously goes to the Caribbean and even the Far East. So we welcome Japan’s Daisuke here to the South Lawn. His press corps is bigger than mine. And we both have trouble answering questions in English."

I love when the president rags on himself. I think it's even funnier because it's so true. And because Daisuke had no clue what W was talking about. All he heard was 'blah blah blah Daisuke blah blah blah blah."

∙ "I’m sorry Manny Ramirez isn’t here. I guess his grandmother died again. Just kidding. Tell Manny I didn’t mean it. But I do want to quote him. He said, 'When you don’t feel good, and you still get hits, that’s when you know you’re a bad man.' I don’t know what that means. But if bad man means good hitter, he’s a really bad man, because he was clutch in the World Series and clutch in the playoffs."

I think it's hilarious that W is bashing Ramirez for his grandmother dying again and the fact that he has no clue what Ramirez is talking about in his famous 'bad man' quote. Don't worry, George, no one else has a clue what Manny's thinking, either. As it turns out, Ramirez didn't attend yesterday's ceremony. Just out of curiosity, what was he doing instead? The photo above of Manny was taken yesterday while his team mates were at the White House. Mark my words, this will be the first of many Manny Being Manny moments of the year.

∙ "And how about Jonathan Papelbon? The guy pitches almost as well as he dances. And I appreciate the dress code. Thanks for wearing pants. Good job, and congratulations."

W obviously didn't write this speech because it was actually funny. I do have to admit that I was a bit disappointed in Papelbon's sober behavior yesterday. I expected Papelbon to do some type of drunken Irish jig on the front steps of the White House as President Bush looked on in horror before deciding to join in the festivities, similar to how Ty Law got Bob Kraft to dance at one of the Super Bowl parades a few years ago (I hate the Giants).

∙ "And so the ownership gets a lot of credit, the front office gets credit, and so does a really fine manager in Terry Francona. Laura and I had the honor of having Mike Lowell and Mrs. Francona and Terry for dinner earlier this month, earlier this year. And what I was impressed about was the values of this guy, and the fact that he honors his family as the first and foremost thing in his life. And I think the ownership made a good deal in signing him to a new contract."

Nice to see the president recognize the little people but I do have to wonder, doesn't the President of the United States of America have more pressing things to do than honor a sports team for winning a championship or even hosting players and managers for dinner? This story is all over the news and yet, I wonder how injured soldiers feel lying in a hospital bed or how families who have lost a son, daughter, father, mother, husband or wife in one of the many wars we're fighting around the globe feel. I hope that they're recognized in some way by the president for their sacrifices because those are the true heroes, the true champions and the one's that we should honor every day.

If you missed the ceremony, here's some of what transpired: